Men Grow Attached To Beards
Previously the sole preserve of pedophiles, the homeless, and serial killers, beards have seen a resurgence in recent years, alongside the growth of heritage menswear, among men trying to look all grown-up or something.
Whilst beards used to be grown by middle-aged men to hide excess chins or a lack of a strong jawline, since the advent of Movember (the charity that implores chaps globally to grow a moustache to raise funds), every douchy little 20-something has felt empowered to sport a full food-catching beard.
When questioned, some beard wearers conceded that it made them look more adult and helped them to be taken more seriously in their demoralising media and marketing jobs, whereas others admitted they were just copying their peers as they were too lazy to shave daily.
The downsides for hipsters when considering a beard are that they do catch food, can be hot and itchy, make women retch, and look fucking stupid.